March 21, 2025
I needed an escape from the city. From the overstimulation, the endless staring into screens, the feeling of loneliness creeping in. I wanted an excuse to make friends. When my yoga teacher mentioned last week he was hosting a yoga retreat in the hills outside the city I promptly emailed him to sign up.
This was a no frills yoga retreat. The invite requested that I bring my own bedding and pillow. We were setup in these small log cabins that reminded me of what kids would sleep in during summer camp. There were three bunk beds to a room (six beds total). My room only had four people in it and I was silently praying that none of my cabin mates were snorers.
I arrived a bit late, so I missed the introductions and was immediately swept up into our first yoga class. I forgot that “no frills” also meant I had to bring my own yoga mat, but a sweet middle aged lady let me borrow her extra mat. Gosh I love how kind yogis can be. I surveyed the room and was surprised to see such diversity in age. There were mostly white or Asian women. Some who looked well into their retirement years. I later learned one was 80 years old. I wondered if I would still be doing yoga when I was 80. There were lots of women who were moms, their kids either still children or in college. Only a handful of us were not quite at that stage of life, I made a mental note to seek out these women later. Maybe this could lead to friendship?
We all have our own reasons for being there. I was pleasantly surprised to find the younger women all didn’t know anyone on this retreat either. My goal for this retreat is to form lasting friendships. To get to truly know people beyond what they do. To form strong bounds, to laugh, to make others feel seen and appreciated. To treat others the way I wish to be treated.
I met a woman named Annalise. She came with her daughter. I met two women, both named Grace. They both work in tech and came alone. They seem similar to my age. I’ll try to be friends with them. I later learned they both immigrated here from China. It surprised me when I felt a twinge of disappointment when I learned that. I didn’t realize how much I was hoping to meet women that were born and raised in the US like me.
I ended up bunking with one of the Grace’s, a taller Asian lady who was a data scientist and proudly wore an engagement ring on her finger. As I brushed my teeth to go to bed it hit me just how tired I was. Does everyone always act this intentional when trying to make friends?
I couldn’t tell if the tiredness that overcame me was because I’ve had a long day or because of all this extra sleuthing I’ve been doing. “Making friends is worth the extra effort,” I chant to myself as I prepared to let sleep take over. I was happy to learn that none of my cabin mates snore. Thank god for that.
Honey to Bear 