March 8, 2025
I sipped on my matcha latte as I hammered away at the laptop in front of me. The morning sunlight spilled into my hair, giving me an angelic glow. I barely noticed the man who dropped in to sit on my left, shooting curious glances my way.
“Excuse me,” he said. I looked up at the stranger. “I don’t mean to bother you, but the way the light is hitting your face… I just had to talk to you,” he began.
I blinked at him. He asked for my number. His confidence both shocked and impressed me. He was older, had an average appearance, and a good height. We were sitting in the cafe at work. I could be in a relationship, or gay, or shoot him down, I thought. And we were at WORK. The cafe was relatively quiet. I would bet good money that the people around us were now locked into our conversation.
I smiled at his display of courage and willingly passed my digits over to him.
I didn’t hear from him for months. I had nearly forgotten the interaction had even took place. We agreed to meet at a bar near my apartment. I was nervous because I couldn’t even remember what he looked like at this point. The nerves quickly dissipated as I greeted him. He was cute and I would let him in, I decided.
He always came over at night—a complete workaholic. He left by 6:30 a.m. Our rendezvous were always exciting. He demanded to be called “daddy,” and I embarrassingly kind of liked it? It was new and taboo in my mind. I felt dirty, but in an exciting way. How did he clock that I had daddy issues? How could he read me so easily? He made me act like a college girl. I lost myself in him. He always held me at arm’s length, never letting me go over to his place. We only met on his terms. He was incredibly smart and worked in the department of our tech company tasked with “saving the world.” I felt a little intimidated by his status in the chain of command. Although we worked for the same multinational tech company, our company was so large we would never naturally cross paths.
I had never felt so infatuated with someone I knew so little about. We saw each other for about a year and a half. One day, he just stopped texting back. It was impossible to hide my disappointment. I was surprised that someone his age would resort to ghosting as a way of ending a relationship. I felt like I deserved at least a goodbye. He couldn’t even give me the satisfaction of wrapping up the relationship with some sort of closure.
I knew we were just physical, but I thought of him as a comforting presence in my life. I liked knowing I was with someone so important. He made me want to strive to do important things in my own life. Isn’t that who we should surround ourselves with? People who bring out the best in us? I wondered if he broke it off because he found someone new, if he felt like I was bringing him down, or if he just plain and simply grew tired of me. Looking back, it might have been best that he ended things because I sure as hell wouldn’t have been the one to call it off.
Honey to Bear 